..Loneliness...

There have been quite a long time i din touch my blog. Today, I hav a very strong feeling. When i stepped into the house, every room was empty. I was so afraid of this kind of feeling. Even the leaves fall also can hear..

U had left me...This is 2nd day. The first nite, I lied on the bed for 2 hours. I couldn't get into sleep at all... Tat nite I slept at 4a.m. smth. When i turned my sight to the bed u slept be4, there was no one on the bed. My tears shed from my eyes.. I really not used to sleep alone. Even now.. In my heart... I can feel tat there are mounting arrows get tru my heart.. My heart is blooding..

When i viewed tru the photos we took together.. My heart... felt sour again.. I tot i was so independent to be alone. But, I was wrong. May be 1 year ago, I was but now I'm not anymore. Since ur appearance, u made me felt.. a lot of happiness. U share secret with me, sadness with me...happiness...

I remembered the first few weeks u came, U cried sadly. I felt sad with u too.. When i knew the reason, I really sympathy u and hate the person hurted u deeply. At last... U accepted back that person. So, All i could do, WISHING U HAPPY FOREVER. Now, U left me with that person. This was ur choice. I will respect u and understand u.

I dunno since when ...u have occupied my heart so much. Just wanna tell u that, I will love u in depth of my heart. Sometimes i showed silly actions and said i missed u simply.. U said u dun believe me. I kissed u, u rejected me. I really meant to do so.

I love u and miss u so much... Fren XXX..

...感恩与珍惜...

"好朋友"茶餐厅的哥罗面!!正!!价钱公道!!

工作了接近三个月，开始领略了上班族的生活。工作可以让自己变得懂事，明白承担责任是怎么一回事。最近经常回家乡。由于要坐五小时半的车程，所以会静静地自己思考。生活脚步也慢慢地放慢了下来...

我之前常常在不知足的恶念下决定一些事...搞得自己渐渐都变得很讨厌自己。因为不知足带来的就是欲念，困扰，压力..想想有个人对我说的话很对，烦恼是自找的。现在，我常常告诉自己我是幸福的。我拥有很多东西，拥有太多东西...就因为太富足而不懂珍惜。

以前，总是一心想要离开父母的管辖。现在，却相反。开始明白原来父母管你是关心的方式。或许不该说"管"，而是教导。他们也是怕我们将来会为自己的行动后悔或受伤害，所以才会出言相劝。我曾经听过我的导师说过这么一句话，很多人认为基督徒很多事都不能做而不肯信主。其实他们不明白原来上帝在管制你同时亦带给你无限大的自由。话他已说在前头，做与不做完全是我们的选择。当然，后果就自负。很对...这句话我一直记在心里。很感谢导师的句句字字，他解决了我很多的疑惑。想到这，我这辈子也不会忘的一位好朋友，柠。固执的我，是被她传的福音所动。记得以前自己是个free thinker.很多人都放弃对我传福音的念头..是她，坚持要我听完。哈哈...很感谢她!

最近，我开始明白一些事。有位好朋友曾对我说朋友又不能永远陪着你，我当时还信心满满地反驳她，会的!现在，我认同她那句话。或许是年龄的增长，朋友们个个也有了自己的伴侣，所以少了能像以前一起疯癫的时间。刚开始是有点难过，难接受的,但是想想人总有一天要长大，不能这么自私啦..渐渐地，自己开始习惯了，也接受了。友情不需要每天见面，每天联络才能永恒。友情是因了解双方，经历不能磨灭的回忆，关心，关怀而持久的。无可否认，友情对我的人生而言，真的很重要，很重要。Without fren,I'm nobody.上帝很眷顾我，从小，我身边都会有好朋友。小学时，有芳，晓玲，健依，力菁，佳宝......，中学时，有洁，薰，芬，柠，毅....,学院生时，有琪，分，诗，玲...总是不会少过四个..我拥有很多很多..觉得很幸福..当一个人拥有越多，就越怕失去。我很感谢他们在我人生的旅途上陪伴我走过..无论欢欣，忧愁的时刻，这一切的一切，我会牢牢刻在心里直到永永远远。

当然，我也不会忘记，从我未出生至今一直支持我的父母。他们让我看到并明白什么是无私的爱。也明白了，他们这世上唯一不会伤害自己的人，一心只想我们好，多年来掏心掏肺也只盼望我过得好的人。那天我告诉妈妈，我是想吃干捞面而回家乡的。其实只是随便说说..是自己不想待在民都鲁罢了。妈在我上巴士前特地买了两包让我带走。虽然是很小的事，小的有些人认为没什么大不了。但，那一刻，自己真的眼眶湿了。我告诉妈妈想要这想要那，她都尽量满足我。自己当年却无知地那么伤害他们，他们却没怪我，也没放弃我。试问自己我给了他们什么了?没有..因为我的一切来自于他们。没有他们，不会有今天的我。如今他们要什么，我都不会说不。很感激他们...

妈咪为我打包的...临上车前，她赶去买给我。妈，我爱你!

我明白人终需离别，我只盼自己能珍惜现在每秒每刻，常常记得知足与感恩。凡事不要抱怨他人..喜乐就会常在!

~My PrAcTicaL trAinInG~

开始实习已经一个星期了...每天，我得在早上六点半起床。所以晚上呢，也习惯性地很早就趴在床上呼呼大睡!起初真的很不习惯..超爱睡，超累...不过也只是头几天不习惯啦!过后就没什么了..
刚开始时，她教我排文件，numbering,posting...都还蛮简单的。都应付得来...唯独一样东西...是我受不了的。那就是.....那里的冷气超超超冷啦!!!我每天上班就好像在雪柜里工作，足足穿了两层外衣耶!哈哈...原本，对那公司没有很大兴趣。因为工钱低嘛~哈哈..不过，后来有一天，一位旧同事的女儿病了，鼻子流血不止。听说她有血癌..医院里血库的血不够，需要大量的O型血。我是O型~但是，自从那次晕倒，我身体就没有很好,所以帮不上忙。当时还没到放工时间，不过整个公司当时的气氛很紧张。每个人都很关心。好几个人都自愿去捐血。(原来，很多人是O型血喔!!)过后，一些同事更提议要捐款。在我的经历当中，大多数人只会捐几块钱...意思意思嘛~所以，我自己拔出了十令吉。还自以为很多了!救人嘛..就大方点咯..呵呵...转身一看，哇!他们出更多!我的十倍!哈哈..是一个人哦!!不是总数!心想他们做工了嘛..当然咯!对他们而言只是小数目。身为实习生的我也不必感到太内疚。(要是在西马，我想就算是工作人士，也不一定如他们如此慷慨)
顿时，我感受到这公司的人很有人情味...一股股暖流涌上我心田。很感动...让我觉得我选对了工作地方。感谢主!我不应该埋怨太多...应该用心体验一切事务。

前天，驾车去上班的途中，我的轮胎爆胎!!!没办法..由家到公司的路真的太烂了!不懂会不会被爸爸骂~哈哈...还好有他和他表哥帮忙!呵呵...有少少感动咯..

今天看了我宝贝写给我的留言觉得很感动...很想念她们...看了看之前拍的照片..觉得好想哭哦..没关系啦..三个月罢了!很快过的!!回去了要带她们去玩!!!大家能聚在一起的时间真的不多了..很快地，我又要读完一年了。过后就会各分东西。珍惜与你们相处的每一刻，每一个笑容，每个声音...

～可爱家乡～

终于，昨天我回到家乡了！很兴奋！很开心！家里装修了一点点...公公的精神比以前好了很多。现在已能借着拐杖慢慢。



二十三号那天，我做了个决定留下来。我不知道自己会不会后悔。就当是给自己一个机会更了解他。我打了电话，拒绝了吉隆坡那里的工作。回想起来真的有点不知是对或错...

今日，我怪他..我开玩笑地怪了他说，他动作很慢，约了我吃早餐结果到他家了他还没准备。告诉他说太迟了就没停车位。他听了后，不开心。问我需要这样讲他吗？时间观念问题吧...我认为自己没说错。他就不跟我说话，从他家到店，到吃完早餐，到我送他回家。他一句话也没说。拜拜也不说了...真的有必要这么生气吗？

让我觉得，有点后悔了这么决定。我很怕，我没有信心。当我想到要面对这样的人三个月，我真的没信心..

不过，我还是想试一试...不谈他了,说说家里的事。今天我和妈妈一起做海苔片。和妈妈一边聊，一边弄。很开心，很温馨...总觉得在家里还是最好。有爸爸妈妈的保护。今年弟弟不在家，只有我爷，爸，妈，和我。团圆饭就由我和妈负责。我的宝贝有叫我去她家吃哦！不过不好意思啦..有一年也是去她家吃。我妈说这样不好看啦..今年自己家有煮。自从婆婆去世后，家里已没有吃所谓的团圆饭了。好怀念哦！

不知为什么...觉得好想回到童年。昨晚，我和我前男友出去游车河。他告诉我一些事，我..不懂要给什么反应他。

突然之间，觉得为什么男女之间很难有“好朋友”这种友谊。从以前到现在，我一直都当好朋友是好朋友，不论男女。我不能接受自己好朋友告诉自己原来对我不是抱着好朋友心态。朋友告诉我说他怎样怎样我，我都说不可能，我们是好朋友。直到有两次这事情发生后，我信了。以前我也同样问过这问题男和女之间不能只有纯纯地友情吗？现在想起，觉得可笑。哈哈..原来自己一直在给自己找借口逃避事实，只因为不想友情变质。

现在，自己变了。比较大方面对事实。哈哈..就直接告诉朋友，自己珍惜这样地友情，希望他也是。还好，一些还是接受了，维持好朋友。不能接受的，说他没脸见我。那我也不能怎么办啊！男人真是奇怪的动物！

回到家乡，有好多朋友联络我出来见面～哈哈..好忙哦！可是，今年选择了留点时间给家人。爸爸抱怨我说每次回家都没看到我的人！哈哈！没办法啦！以前贪玩..朋友叫喝茶就立刻丢下手上工作跑人！哈哈...现在老啦！定性了点～哈哈...也怕很少机会了..因为出去读书也见不到他们了。这就算了！他们都不打电话给我，就为了省电话费！哈哈..我爸妈都是节俭从家的人。他们不打，我就自己打咯！

我的另个宝贝就要飞着回来了～一路顺风哦！

在此，预祝新年快乐！恭喜恭喜！

HaPpY Chin3se NeW yEar

Today is my second day reached at bintulu,Sarawak.Huh...Long time din write blog..y?wat happen?hahaha...coz my modem has broken down.Cannot on9 for half months...~!!huh...But it's a good matter also...haha..coz we cannot watch movie, so can concentrate on studies~

Last nite around 7.30p.m i reached at bintulu. Jimmy came to pick me up. Miss him so much~when i saw him, i was 'shocked'.Wow~Such...a...hahaha....coz he told me tat he get thinner 4 kg dy. but...wat i c is...hmmm...

I was so so so so so excited!!!coz long time din come back hometown~miss my hometown so so much~miss the food...miss my papa and mama..and my dear brother...dunno how r they.But i cant get home right after i reached sarawak. Coz the road from bintulu to sarikei was broken due to land slide. Hometown!!I'm back!!!hahahaha....

During my examination period, i keep on thinking..I must study hard coz after this i can enjoy. Unfortunately, I have running nose after taxation paper.Too bad..It started to get worse and hence becum flu...Wuwuwu....I went to see doctor dy but it seems helpless. I even get worse!!huh...So, on the other day, during pm paper,i totally cannot think wat i had read!sigh...I think i've got to resit. Wuwuwuwu....

Until now,I still hav running nose. Somemore itchy in my throat..so suffer...Really worry tat i cant have a healthy body on CNY~hehehe..This morning i went to interview. They offered me a much lower allowance than i can get in kl's firm. But wat can i do??At the beginning...I really really feel unwilling...dissatisfied...so much so much..I think of many reasons to pursue myself to agree with him to stay here.

One of the reason tat i feel dun wan to work at here is because i really dun get used with the life here without all my kepo frens...really feel bored!

May be I have already get used tat many frens around me...talk with me..play with me...But now...huh..I'm not yet sleepy and wanna talk..but he....sigh...become pig already!!!His life is really SYSTEMATIC!!!!!!this is wat i choose...wat can i blame?who can i blame?

:'( Baby, Honey, Darling, Dear, Sweet Heart, Dear dear...Dear dear dear.....I miss u all!!!so much!!!!wuwuwu...i afraid i'll regret for this decision. I really so miss u all....

I know i have to be optimistic..so...sad jor a while...now need to recover. I believe i'll have smth better than my expectation for wat i had decided. Baby, u all too~Happy always~I'll very very miss u all~

Joey~Good luck for ur paper tomolo. MA is tough but once u overcome the fear on it,u'll be able to do well! Gambateh o!!!All my dear dear~Happy Chinese New Year~!!!!!!!Love u!

HappY nEw yeAr 2009

1/1/2009

Holiday today..planning to shopping one..but change to sing k.hahaha...still 4 of us. We booked jor 2p.m. But Andy them almost 4p.m only reached here...His car tyre puncit. then went to ket wai's shop there.

Two So Lou Singing~~

My Honey and me~~Sweet sweet~~I love u!

After sing k, teacher and I went to shopping~huhu~~I saw one pant. Quite nice..but no stock for my size. Sigh..decided to find it out at other outlet. Rush time....Andy fetched us to pj have bak kut teh again...Hmmm...Nice!!!Dried bak kut teh!!Hav u tried it be4??

Look like OL har???hehe...This is david's seat~

Look like boss teaching his employee??Wat is she laughing about?

Then, he said got smth to do at office. Urgent..So need to go to his office finish it immediately after dinner. So , we waited him at office..and photographing there...hmm....8.30p.m went there..

Atound 12.30a.m only finish..!hehe...too bored at andy's office...so write down a wish..now going to leave..bye~

Count down 2008

31/12/2008

This night, we went to count down at Sg wang KL. Haha...Suppose to count down at Look Out Point. But..finally we choose the crowded place..Since, this will be the only year tat Jr stays at here, so we choose a place that she can experiences the crazy and crowd nite~






Haha...Of coz..tat nite we got sprayed a lot. There were only me, Jr, Ket Wai and Andy went to celebrate together. Where's all my baby? Oh...Almost of them accompanying their bf. KK and Joey follow Soon Leong's gang. My baby watched movie with her boy boy at home..while us?Haha...

Fireworks....Huh...quite nice~

After tat, we decided to go nga nga shan yam cha. Unfortunately, traffic jam horribly. Cox nga nga shan is too limited to fit so many ppl. So, we changed plan to a place near old klang road (i think so..just guess..i saw the words written there.) We went to yam cha a while..sam pat sam pat a while. Actually Andy was sleepy..coz he din sleep for 48 hours dy!!!!huh...

David also joined us when yam cha..Hehehe...Jimmy keep calling me and ask me to go back home earlier..We were being unhappy for a period that I keep going out for few weeks continuously. Hehe...yeah yeah..I know it's my fault. I'll stay at home most of the time for the following weeks. Coz...........EXAM is coming soon!!!!!!


Haha...Wish all the TARCIAN~ Good luck in exam and hope everyone can get flying colours in ur paper~


HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!!!